Why Are You Angry?


If you look at some men and the emotions you see, what is the first emotion that comes to mind? For me, it is anger. Why anger? Anger, because it is the most accepted emotion from a man. In many people’s eyes, if a man is not angry, he does not care. Then on the flip side, if a man shows that he cares in a different emotional way, he is viewed as weak. It is like men are supposed to be this strong, emotionless being that roams the world. They can’t be too happy, never sad and loving is too much to ask. And you wonder why the only emotion you see is anger.

Men feel stuff just like the rest of us. Men hurt, Men cry, Men feel joy and all of this is okay. Men are not robots, so why are they treated as such when it comes to their emotions. It has become so much a part of a man to hide his emotions, that we teach this to the boys and some girls that we see as ‘strong’. What you don’t see is where all of these emotions go. It is like the emotional growth of some men is stunted. The emotions are not hidden, they are eaten and swallowed and stuffed down deep inside. How do you know how many more emotions this place can hide? You don’t. What happens when that place deep inside is full? It explodes. This is where you will see the anger. The anger may come out in screaming and yelling. Maybe punching things and breaking stuff. Some men even get into physical altercations with others that have nothing to do with what they are feeling just to get that anger out. The anger is there because they are not able to take one more thing. Because they are showing some type of emotion. Because no one understands all that has gone on with him up to this point. At this point, he has probably eaten, swallowed and stuffed all he could.

If you are a man reading this, I want you to know that there are some constructive ways to get your emotions out. You can write things out, like poetry or journaling and this is not just for women. You can workout like running, lifting weights, boxing or something that is active. And believe it or not, you can talk to someone about all that is going on with you. I will say choose wisely, even if it is a professional (see my blog, Some Are Called published Oct 13, 2016) Now, on the other side. If a male that is close to you comes to you wanting to talk. Listen. Help him realize that his feelings are valid and thank him for sharing. If you are not able to help, let him know where he can find help. Let’s all come together and take care of each other.

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Adrienne Charleston: Counseling and Coaching

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